Diary of a Mad Mac

Things you wished you'd never read. Things your mother warned you about. Welcome to the world of an insane Scottish-American. Haggis anyone?

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Location: Abbeville, South Carolina, United States

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Strong, clear, flexible, and non-toxic

Strong, clear, flexible, and non-toxic. I actually happened to read that on a bottle of Elmer's glue and it sent me into deep thought. I think every man likes to think that they are strong, able to withstand life's day to day perils. Clear, having a sound mind free of obstruction. Flexible, being able to bend when things don't go exactly how you like them to. Non-toxic, free of disease mental or physical not hazardous to the health or general well being of whichever mate that might choose you.

I had the experience, good albeit bad of being romantically involved with a very attractive woman who for several years pulled me around in an emotional roller coaster that I won't soon forget. Was it really bad, no not at all and this certainly is not going to be a bash session. It's more of a descriptive story to get one mere point across.

Regardless of the outcome of that relationship I have still managed to keep a level of respect and fondness for this woman. After all, it takes two to make a relationship work, or fall apart. I was at a party where two guys that worked with her happened to be at. They both were quite attracted to her and knew that her and I had been a couple. They managed to get me to the side and proceed to ask me about her performance in the bedroom. My response was pretty simple. I told them that was classified information that would be disrespectful for me to talk about. I really got to thinking about it though. How many times do we as men look at some attractive woman and only think about what her bedroom persona might be like. Alot, I know I've certainly been guilty. When do we take the time to really care about things like, her eyes are blue, she loves little fairies and Breyer horses, mint chocolate chip is her favorite ice cream, she likes to eat at TGI Fridays, she loves to watch bull riding, her favorite color is blue, she likes The Chronicles of Narnia books, she is very artistic, she has a beautiful laugh, she hates her ankles, she grinds her teeth at night, she's a cover stealer, and when she wakes up in plain old PJ's with sleep in her eyes and her hair all tousled she still takes my breath away, I could go on and on.

Hmmm...I guess all that comes later, but I think every man should be interested in knowing these things and not just what a woman is like in bed. I certainly appreciate a woman who really wants to know about me.

Yes indeed there are times when I want to rant about the triumphs of being a man, or how tough and mean I am, "Quick, take a look at how awesome my truck is." In truth I'm a simple guy who respects and loves his mother dearly. I guess the most complex thing about me is my big dreams. It's funny though, if I were a woman I could sum a decent man up with an Elmer's glue bottle.

Strong, clear, flexible, and non-toxic.


-S

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