Weird Stuff I Sometimes Think About...
In my world of creative insanity I often ponder things like these:
What if I'm on a date with a really nice girl and I suddenly start throwing up uncontrollably?
Just what the heck could I do to make that situation okay?
My name is Scott Allan MacMeeken.
If I had a son, would that make him the son of SAM?
What if I was on a date with a really nice girl and I coughed and accidently pooted?
Could I recover the evening after that? What if she started throwing up?
What if I got to meet the President of the United States and my pants fell down around my ankles?
Would he be upset?
My dog's whole goal in life is to have someone throw a ball for him.
Could he make it in major league baseball?
When people poot, why do we find it funny?
Have people always laughed at flatulence?
A DVD is the same size as a CD.
Why is it not called a DVCD?
Why do so many rich, famous people have drug problems?
Can it really be all that bad not having to worry about money?
Stupid people seem so much happier than smart people.
Is ignorance really bliss?
What if our knees bent in the opposite direction?
Would we become quadrupeds?
What if I was on a date with a really nice girl who had a pet monkey?
Would it be appropriate for me to ask if I could see her monkey?
Hmmm... Life is like a box of chocolates. When you first see it it looks grand, but the more of it you ingest, the more sick you feel.
Yes, I already know I'm weird.
-S
What if I'm on a date with a really nice girl and I suddenly start throwing up uncontrollably?
Just what the heck could I do to make that situation okay?
My name is Scott Allan MacMeeken.
If I had a son, would that make him the son of SAM?
What if I was on a date with a really nice girl and I coughed and accidently pooted?
Could I recover the evening after that? What if she started throwing up?
What if I got to meet the President of the United States and my pants fell down around my ankles?
Would he be upset?
My dog's whole goal in life is to have someone throw a ball for him.
Could he make it in major league baseball?
When people poot, why do we find it funny?
Have people always laughed at flatulence?
A DVD is the same size as a CD.
Why is it not called a DVCD?
Why do so many rich, famous people have drug problems?
Can it really be all that bad not having to worry about money?
Stupid people seem so much happier than smart people.
Is ignorance really bliss?
What if our knees bent in the opposite direction?
Would we become quadrupeds?
What if I was on a date with a really nice girl who had a pet monkey?
Would it be appropriate for me to ask if I could see her monkey?
Hmmm... Life is like a box of chocolates. When you first see it it looks grand, but the more of it you ingest, the more sick you feel.
Yes, I already know I'm weird.
-S
posted by Rebel_Posse1973 | 4:46 PM
2 Comments:
All right. Here we go.
What if I'm on a date with a really nice girl and I suddenly start throwing up uncontrollably?
Just what the heck could I do to make that situation okay?
Just don't try to sing. Or make out with her before brushing your teeth.
My name is Scott Allan MacMeeken.
If I had a son, would that make him the son of SAM?
No, it would make him the son of a dingdong.
What if I was on a date with a really nice girl and I coughed and accidently pooted?
Could I recover the evening after that? What if she started throwing up?
First off, say "Fart." Secondly (and I have done this), immediately shift back and forth in your chair attempting to recreate a similar sound. Then you have something to blame it on.
What if I got to meet the President of the United States and my pants fell down around my ankles?
Would he be upset?
I would go find the guy that sould you your belt and beat him. And I have a feeling our current commander-in-chief might laugh as much as Joe at an errant flatus.
My dog's whole goal in life is to have someone throw a ball for him.
Could he make it in major league baseball?
Steve rocks. And no, because he'd piss on somebody and probably get fined for it, or Disney would make an awful "Air Bud"-ish movie about him.
When people poot, why do we find it funny?
Have people always laughed at flatulence?
Poots smell bad. Hence they are embarassing. If they smelled like cinnamon rolls, we'd all walk around sniffing each other like dogs. To me, that would be MORE funny.
A DVD is the same size as a CD.
Why is it not called a DVCD?
Because people are lazy. Besides, the chicken patties they used to serve in high school were about the same size as a CD, but noone ever called them "CPCDs."
Why do so many rich, famous people have drug problems?
Can it really be all that bad not having to worry about money?
We only ever hear about the rich folks that DO have drig problems. You never see an issue of the National Enquirer with a big photo of a happy celebrity on the front. "Jean Claude van Damme: Livin Clean and not punching bitches!"
Stupid people seem so much happier than smart people.
Is ignorance really bliss?
I've lived next to the Key Training Center for 23 years. I've never seen an unhappy retard. They're the best people on earth.
What if our knees bent in the opposite direction?
Would we become quadrupeds?
Chairs would look fucked up. But it would make it easier for us to smell each others' asses.
What if I was on a date with a really nice girl who had a pet monkey?
Would it be appropriate for me to ask if I could see her monkey?
It would be a lot more appropriate than if she had a cat, and you asked to see her... well you get the idea.
Plus she probably gets asked by 100 people a day to see her monkey. Hell I'D want to see her monkey.
Hmmm... Life is like a box of chocolates. When you first see it it looks grand, but the more of it you ingest, the more sick you feel.
That isn't a question. But I love Chocolate.
In closing, I hope the HTML tags worked or this is going to look fucked up.
As a side note, I saw Amanda Douglas in CFCC's ass-awful production of Robin Hood last weekend. Everyone else was attempting to fake British accent, but Amanda didn't have to. She did her whole damn part in Southern Drawl like an idiot. She has a wonderful career in b-budget porn ahead of her.
Freak. Ryan seems in a chipper mood though.
Post a Comment
<< Home