I do alot of dumb things.
I was sitting around thinking about the stupid things I tend to do. From simple things to bad choices I've made that have eventually come around to bite me in the rear.
Like that time I got take out from Chili's and was sitting watching a movie munching on some nachos supreme I decided I really didn't want. What did I do with them? I did what any normal retard would do. I gave them to my dog Steve. Within an hour he was buckled over in the yard with the fierce trots staring at me with a "what the hell were you thinking?" look. It was only then that I thought, "How dumb is it to give a dog spicey mexican food?" Dumb!
It is also a result of my dumbness that I am working in a privately run jail verses working for the Florida Department of Corrections anymore. Yes, my dumbness combined with the "Take no crap" attitude I've had brought me here. Why is that? I felt like someone had crossed me so I got mad and quit my job. Oh yeah, I'll show those suck heads. I'll go be unemployed and lose most of my self respect. That'll teach em'. As a result, I couldn't get my job back as a state law enforcement official if I paid them. Dumb!
Another dumb story that Ryan likes to tell is the time I bought this Chevy Berretta. There was a piece of plastic stuck in the cigarette lighter hole. As I was fumbling about trying to get it out of there I got the brain dead idea of, "I know what'll get that out. This G-- D--- car key!" So just as Ryan was saying that's a bad idea, I shoved a metal key into a place with an all time hot wire and blew the fuse to my entire control panel. Nice, the whole car went dark as Ryan said, "Okay, like I was saying..." Dumb!
My mom among other people has told me that I have been a bachelor for too long and that I need a good woman to help straighten me out. The thing is, what if I marry a woman who has alot of sense and my dumbness rubs off on her? Or even worse we have children who do dumb stuff like running into sliding glass doors, or beat their heads against the wall.
I dunno, I'm gonna go be dumb and drink some iced tea.
-S
Like that time I got take out from Chili's and was sitting watching a movie munching on some nachos supreme I decided I really didn't want. What did I do with them? I did what any normal retard would do. I gave them to my dog Steve. Within an hour he was buckled over in the yard with the fierce trots staring at me with a "what the hell were you thinking?" look. It was only then that I thought, "How dumb is it to give a dog spicey mexican food?" Dumb!
It is also a result of my dumbness that I am working in a privately run jail verses working for the Florida Department of Corrections anymore. Yes, my dumbness combined with the "Take no crap" attitude I've had brought me here. Why is that? I felt like someone had crossed me so I got mad and quit my job. Oh yeah, I'll show those suck heads. I'll go be unemployed and lose most of my self respect. That'll teach em'. As a result, I couldn't get my job back as a state law enforcement official if I paid them. Dumb!
Another dumb story that Ryan likes to tell is the time I bought this Chevy Berretta. There was a piece of plastic stuck in the cigarette lighter hole. As I was fumbling about trying to get it out of there I got the brain dead idea of, "I know what'll get that out. This G-- D--- car key!" So just as Ryan was saying that's a bad idea, I shoved a metal key into a place with an all time hot wire and blew the fuse to my entire control panel. Nice, the whole car went dark as Ryan said, "Okay, like I was saying..." Dumb!
My mom among other people has told me that I have been a bachelor for too long and that I need a good woman to help straighten me out. The thing is, what if I marry a woman who has alot of sense and my dumbness rubs off on her? Or even worse we have children who do dumb stuff like running into sliding glass doors, or beat their heads against the wall.
I dunno, I'm gonna go be dumb and drink some iced tea.
-S
posted by Rebel_Posse1973 | 7:23 PM
2 Comments:
Ohhh, poor Steve. Did he at least enjoy it while he was eating it?
Man, I tell that car key story to everyone. When I think of it it cracks me up something fierce.
You do need to find a good woman and settle down. You'd be a wonderful dad and I can't imagine the hillarious diaper-changing stories that would come out of that situation.
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