Saving Private Ryan...

I am dedicating this post to my dear friend Ryan Vella who for so many years has been a longsuffering friend throughout the silly crap we have put him through. I thought I'd share some Ryan stories.

First off, some years back Ryan had long hair and a full beard. Joe subsequently dubbed him the Wookie. Although today he shaves his head completely bald and has only a goatee, this nick name still follows him around along with the various other nick names we have given him such as Chumline, and Captain Blackbeard.

Ryan is a proud southerner like the rest of us, only he has always been the most refined of our group of friends. Ryan is one of the finest trumpet players I have had the pleasure of hearing. I've never been a huge fan of the brass section, but I could sit and listen to Ryan play for hours. A funny story arises out of that. As I stated before, Ryan is refined and even sometimes a bit uncomfortable around alot of people he doesn't know. Somehow he ended up at a party a couple years ago, with Joe I might add, and some of the most butt stupid inbreds this area has to offer. Somehow word got around the party that Ryan was a musician. Oh no, not the classically trained trumpet player that he is, but instead a highly skilled banjo picker. Much to Joe's amusement some nut brought Ryan a banjo and insisted he play them all a tune. Apparently it took some convincing to get through to them that he didn't play the banjo.

Among other things that poor Ryan has to endure is Joe and Dave's constant heckling of him while I sit by and laugh. Down here in the south we drink alot of ice tea. One time while Ryan and I were at Joe's house Joe was walking into the living room with a very large glass of tea. When he set it down he managed to spill it and went into a mad cursing fit that suddenly changed to hysterical laughter with "Oh yeah, it went in Ryan's shoes!!!" I then started laughing while Ryan screamed at me, "Stop laughing, you're only encouraging his stupidity!!"

Ryan also has a huge file of stupid messages we've left on his answering machine, "Yes, This is Walgreen's pharmacy. I'm calling for a Mr. Ryan Vella. Mr Vella, just letting you know your Valtrex prescription has been filled and is ready for pick up."

After a small party at Joe's several years back, Ryan was in the shower with his then girlfriend and he forgot to lock the door so I sent a raging drunk guy in to point at his naked butt while Joe and I sat outside and laughed. Even after all that Ryan still came out and tried to help tend to me when I had drank myself into a stuper.

You might ask, "Why in the hell would this guy continue to hang around with these tards?" Well that's simple. It's because we all treat each other like brothers. Ryan knows that if he is ever in need we will be there. Be it moral support, or having to go stomp the crap out of someone who crossed him.

This is just a little something for you Ryan. I felt you deserved it. No matter where we end up from here on out, you'll will always be our brother.

Check out Vella Country

-S