Something, something, something...anyhow.

I have so much crap to take care of lately. It seems as though my mind is never free to think about good things anymore. I had to work forced over time today, well yesterday now. I hate when that happens because I'm totally not prepared for it. Not to mention yesterday was my Monday and I never get adequate sleep the day before due to all the things I'm trying to catch up on my days off. Anyhow, so some poor inmate takes a tumble down the stairs in the jail and they tell me I'm going out in the ambulance with him. I was okay with that till they said they were going to Bay Flight the inmate to Tampa General Hospital. I then informed the Chief of Security that I would under no circumstances be getting in a helicopter. He is a really cool guy and found that to be pretty funny so they got someone else to go. I have never flown in my life, ever. I'm deathly affraid of heights. My father was never really good with high places, but I think I may have it worse than him. In his lifetime he had flown quite a bit. I know there will come a day when I have to fly, but when it happens I'm gonna need valium or something.

I've got to make another trip to Abbeville in two weeks. My sister found a sweet older couple that are friends of hers that want my Dad's Chihuahua "Katie" . They are extremely excited to get her and this is exactly what I've been looking for. I have kept this little dog since my dad passed away because I couldn't give her away to just anyone. Dad loved that little dog so much I just had to make sure that the right people got her and I think I've finally found them. My sister spoke very highly of the people so I feel like she will be in good hands. As much as that little dog gets on my nerves I think I'm probably going to get teary eyed when I give her away because everytime I hold this little dog I think of Dad and I will finally be letting go of that. It's probably going to be a bit tough on me. I just don't have the time to give the dog the attention she needs and deserves. I have Steve and he is about all I can really handle. Even though Chihuahuas are little they need lots of attention. I think Dad would've been proud to know that I looked after his little dog and made sure she got a loving home. I have peace of mind in knowing that no matter what I've done with my life I was a devoted son to my father, even after his death.

-S

Happy Birthday My Dear Mom

Mom, I'm sorry I don't seem to have a big selection of pictures scanned on my computer, or any that I don't look like I've been on a mad drinking binge. This was my birthday. Looks like twenty-something, but it's hard to read the cake.

I love you very much and I hope you have a great birthday.

-S

Getting a few things right...

This is my 1978 Gibson Marauder. It is one of my greatest tools for expressing my inner most thoughts. I had it air brushed and customized to my own specifications. The paint has metalic flecks in it so when light hits it, it sparkles like a disco ball. It is my favorite guitar. It is also along with my two other Takamine guitars resting in a pawn shop, probably depressed and ready for me to bring it back home. This guitar is going to be famous one day.

I threw in some overtime this week in hopes of being able to get my guitars out of pawn. It's really been bugging me. I put them in pawn months ago and have been paying the monthly interest just to keep myself afloat. With my other bills, etc. well that's about all have been able to handle. I can't wait to get my guitars back so I can start writing all the new stuff that's in my head.

By the way, Ryan who never asks permission to do anything now has a steady love interest and had to see if it was cool for him to hang out with me tonight. You're on the road to being whipped boy.

Joe still doesn't like it here and I'm with him on that one.

Happy birthday to Mom tomorrow!

-S

I'm such a kid...

I bought Mary Poppins and Pooh's Heffalump Movie on DVD this weekend.

I love Mary Poppins. Not quite as much as my brother does, but I'm a fan.

Of course I've always loved Pooh, although the new Winnie the Pooh movies are not as cool as the original. I dunno exactly what it is, but they are more pop-cultured or something.

Gotta work six days straight now and for some reason I've got a friggin' cold again. That makes like three this year. I think this one was brought on by the rainy weather we've been having. I never seem to get sick in the winter time. It's always when it's hot, rainy, and muggy outside that it gets me.

Have a good weekend.

-S

My New Tattoo

I got a new tattoo today. It's the Celtic knot band. Joe paid for it because he's a man of his word.

On a sad note, I somehow ran over a protected gopher tortise in my drive way. It was killed.

-S

And It's A Great Day To Be Alive...

Last night I sprayed Steve with flea spray. He hates that so he got pissed and pooped on my bathroom floor while I was taking a shower.

I'm in a dull mood today. I'm feeling kinda mad, but I'm not sure what about. I dunno.

Well, to hell with me writing anything.

-S

Okay, so I just had to go there...

The first pic here is well, how most of us like to remember Mike.
The second is of course after Mike lost himself in plastic surgery.
The third is a guy who is pissed that Mike didn't touch him.
The fourth is everyone's favorite Press Whore, Rev. Jesse Jackson who always shows up to get his picture taken when bad things happen to black people.

I most of the time could give a rats a-- about what is going on in politics, world news, etc.
I'm thinking back though to when I was eight or nine and I thought Michael Jackson was the coolest performing artist ever. I bugged the heck out of my mom until she bought me a copy of "Thriller" on cassette and a nylon velcro Michael Jackson wallet. I never could talk my parents into buying me one of those zippery "Beat It" jackets though, Dad thought that was a ridiculous thing to send money on. Looking back on it, I'd have to agree.

Hell, I liked Michael even up to his "Dangerous" album, but then at some point in time...he went mad. Do I think Mike is guilty of being a pedophile? Geez, I hope not, but who knows. He does some far out things. I don't understand why a grown man would think it's acceptable to have other people's children sharing his bed with him. If in his logic that was alright, then he must be a bit soft in the head. I don't know, I have mixed feelings about the acquittal. As nutty as the guy is, I would hate to see him get ripped up if he is indeed an innocent man. Although if he did what he is accused of, well it's just another representation of how much money really does talk.

Oh well, sorry you had to see this crap plastered all over every news channel and then look at it on my blog. It was just what happened to be on my mind.

Unrelated: Haven't been doing too well on the no smoking thing. I think I'm going to buy some niccorette gum, or the patch Friday. I'm certainly giving this up, but going cold turkey is liable to get someone hurt.

-S

No Cigarettes, Day 1...

FEELIN' FINE.

uh-huh-huh, ah-ha-ha, ah-ha-hA-HA, AH-HA-HA-HA !!!

-S

Feel like crap...

Okay, so I've been having a problem for awhile now where for some reason my throat just goes into a mad gagging fit until often times it makes me throw up. I have no idea why this is happens. I don't feel nauseous, I just feel gagged. Anyway, it's had me a bit scared because of course after around fifteen years of smoking, well I won't say the thought of throat cancer didn't come to mind.

I went to the local E.R. today and the Nurse Practitioner who seemed to be in a rather pissy mood I might add, said I had some post nasal drip which could be causing me to gag, but it could be alot of different things and I was refered to a specialist. The nurse that initially examined me said it could be possibly stress related. Who knows. I know my stomach has been going nuts lately which is sometimes also stress related and I've certainly had some stress. I'll go see the specialist and see what happens from there.

So at the very least, and Mom don't hold this over my head, but I'm going to make a serious effort to try to stop smoking. Let me repeat TRY. I've got about half a pack left and I'm not planning to buy another one. Whether or not this could be smoking related it's enough to start me thinking.

On a more upbeat note. I finally got the Darth Vader doll I had been wanting for a long time. It's really cool. Twelve inches tall, fully accessorized with tons of cool stuff. You can turn him from Jedi Anakin Skywalker to full on Darth Vader. It came with two different light sabers, an Anakin head and the burned scarred up post, "Obi-Wan kicked my ass" head that the three piece helmet fits over. I could go on and on. The thing just rocks. I've got it posed on my computer desk in full Vader glory ready to do mass light saber damage. Ah we boys never grow out of playing with toys.


-S

Again with the Domestic issues. It happens all over.

I guess sometimes you can really feel a special place for certain famous people. Mine for quite a few years has been country singer Mindy McCready. I suppose it's because she is cute, close to my age, and a Florida girl. To add insult to injury from her "not so popular lately" music career she got busted on a false prescription for Oxycontin and a recent D.U.I.

Now to make matters worse the girl has been a victim of domestic violence. Celebrity Justice reported that Mindy had kicked ex-boyfriend William McKnight out of her home. She returned to her home in Nashville several weeks later to find him in her house. "He beat me in the mouth and my mouth started bleeding all over the bed. My head was leaned back and he strangled me. When he choked me, the veins popped in my eyes and underneath my eyes and eyeballs." Mindy stated. He then chased her down the staircase, caught her near the bottom and started beating her face again. McKnight apparently then broke into tears and threatened suicide before leaving Mindy's home. Mindy was taken to the hospital, treated then released. McKnight has been charged with attempted murder and aggravated burglary. He is being held on a $130,000.00 bond.

What a damn shame. This goes right back to my earlier post about domestic violence. It happens everywhere. I hope Mindy is able to get her life back on track.

-S

Study shows abuse common amoung dating teens.

In a recent study conducted by the Liz Claiborne company more than half of America's teens said that they knew friends who have experienced physical, sexual or verbal abuse during their dating relationships.

Among those surveyed, thirteen percent of teenage girls admit to being physically injured or hit and one in four report being pressured to perform oral sex or engage in intercourse, according to the survey conducted by the private research group Teenage Research Unlimited.

According to Jane Randel a vice president at Liz Claiborne Inc. , while research has shown that domestic violence among teens parallel those among adults, little is being done to educate America's youth.

Hmmm...

I have seven nieces ranging from fourteen to twenty-two. They all know that if worse comes to worse, all they have to do is make a phone call to ole' Uncle Scott and when I show up, Hell follows with me. Hehe, I guess that's why I'm always the last resort phone call.

It really saddens me to realize the increasing number of domestic violence cases among young people. Well, I'm sure it's always been there, just covered up more. These types of things start early on in people's lives. Young women often get into a pattern of going from one abusive relationship to another. A vicious cycle then starts with young boys seeing how their fathers behaved towards their mothers then grow up into violent abusive men.

I have personally talked to women who have been the victim of domestic violence and I hear pretty much the same thing from all of them. They get beaten and trampled over to the point that they are affraid to call for help. Then their feelings of self worth drop to near nothing. The most common thing that I have heard is, "I worry about the affect this will have on my children."

In some cases children grow up and turn in the opposite direction. As much as I loved him and it kills me to admit it, my father was abusive to my mother for years. The man never layed a hand on her in anger, but the mental abuse made up for that. My mother for probably the better part of her forty year marriage to Dad walked around on egg shells for fear of setting him off. He would get mad, throw tantrums and often break stuff around the house. I remember him telling me more than once as I was growing up, "I better not ever hear of you beating your wife when you get married." I don't think he ever really realized just how abusive he was to Mom. She was always afraid of making him mad. Myself on the other hand, well I went a different route. As often as it was planted in my head that it was wrong to hit a lady, it was also from seeing how my father was that I made it a point to realize that the mental abuse was almost as bad. In my past relationships I've had to be pushed very hard before I'd even raise my voice. Which doesn't make me a good candidate to be coupled with someone who likes to argue because I just get up and leave, haha.

I don't know really what the answer is in this situation. Unfortunately domestic abuse will continue no matter what preventative measures are taken. I just hope that if I ever have children that I will be able to set a good enough example for them to be able to grow into good decent people.

-S

More about my trip...

Okay, now that I'm a bit more rested.

I had a nice time in Abbeville. I got to see my great-niece Kinley for the first time. She will be a year old in September and I had yet to be able to make a trip up there to see her. She is such a beautiful baby. I held her every time I got the chance, although she is at the age where she wants to get down and crawl around all the time. I nearly splurged and bought a digital camera while I was up there, but decided I'd better not take a chance on putting myself in a financial bind seeing as how with gas prices and what not it costs nearly two-hundred dollars just for the trip alone. My niece Stacey and her husband Spencer are wonderful parents. I am so proud of both of them when I watch them with their baby. At first I wasn't really thrilled about the idea of Stacey getting married so young. I was hoping that she would go to college, but such is life in a small southern town. I also realized that I may have been trying to live vicariously through my sibling's children.

My nephew Brian is becoming quite the high school athlete. He'll be a sophmore this coming school year and is active on the football team as well as the wrestling team. He tells me he plans to try out for the school baseball team as well. Go Abbeville Panters!! Haha, again I'm living through my siblings children. I guess it's because I'm excited to see them do the things I never took the time to do at that age.

My other sister Susan's girls are all about grown now as well. Holly just got married, Melody is almost twenty, and the twins Amy & Ashley are fifteen. They have all grown into beautiful young ladies. I saw Ashley with her boyfriend and started to feel a bit old. It doesn't seem like that long ago that I was helping look after these girls when they were babies. Time does fly.

I stayed with my brother-in-law Keith while I was up there. It is very unnerving for me to see Tracey and Keith staying in separate houses. I did what I could to help, said my peace and left it at that. I hope and pray they are able to work things out.

So I headed home reluctantly and as always, I left my heart in South Carolina.

Steve was really excited to see me when I got home. Terence was taking care of him for me.

No I cannot forget where it is that I come from.
I cannot forget the people who love me.
Yeah I can be myself here in this small town.
And people let me be just who I wanna be.
-John Mellencamp

-S

I'm back...

Okay, I'm back from S.C.

Nothing super eventful to report.

I'm beat and life goes on.

-S

Darth Scottious

"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate...leads to the dark side."

I guess that's pretty much how I feel here as of late. Fear of what the heck is the next move in my life. Anger because things never seem to turn out the way I want them to. Hate for well, just too many things. I just ate a breakfast burrito from Hardee's and I hated it. I hate the fact that the dog won't stop running up and licking my knee.

I can't even think very deeply these past couple weeks. I'm guessing that I am just reaching a point of being fed up with the way things are going and it is now time for some type of change. Joe has been asking me to move to Tennessee with him as soon as he goes. I think that may be a good plan for me as I had planned to move up that way anyhow. I have to work tonight. I can't even begin to explain how badly I HATE that sorry excuse for a jail.

Oh well, enough of my hatred. I do love you people though. If it were not for the people in my life that are dear to me, I probably would've switched over to the dark side ages ago. All of you, my friends and family, are the reasons that make me strive to be better in life.

-S